There is no way you got to know me, the real me, in such a way that you could make that decision, unless it was for superficial reasons, over such a casual, short, and superficial dinner. If it wasn't my looks, or something superficial like that, then what was it? Was it because I don't salsa dance? :) I'm a good dancer and would love to learn.... Because I don't speak Italian? I had four years of xxxx (equally as romantic) and I'll learn Italian by the end of the year if it meant a date 2 :)... Because I don't work for my parents and haven't traveled the world like you? Well, I grew up poor. Both my parents were going back to school while raising 5 kids. I literally was poor growing up. We never traveled and we never went on vacations. However, my parents did make it through school and now have great jobs. My dad is in the xxx industry and my mother is a xxx that makes $48 an hour. They make well into 6 figures and have absolutely no debt...not even a mortgage. I could ask for them to give me $5k just cause and they would put it in my bank account by the end of the day. However, I respect their journey and I appreciate life's struggles. I think God wants us to live life content with what he has given us...and I live my life exactly that way. I think a men can learn more about himself in the shadow of the valley than the crest of the wave that rises above the undisturbed part of the water...I think it is the struggle that pushes men to be men. I wanted my own journey...therefore I moved out and have done everything on my own. I have not taken one penny from my parents since I was 18. Not for cars, not for school, and not for vacations. Every thing I've done I've done by my own will, my own drive, and my own ambition. I haven't been to Italy, Spain, China, or the moon.....but I've seen the sun rise off of Navy Pier, see the sun set on the Rio Grande, I've see the ball drop on New Years from the very center of the heart of Time Square and danced in the streets to confetti falling from the night sky with the taste of champing still on my lips as a million people sang Frank Sinatra's "New York New York". I've seen the lights of Vegas, I've slept under the stars of Texas, I've had breakfast in xxxx, sat in a hot tub over looking the xxxx, seen the lakes freeze from the shore of xxxx, and taken in the view from the highest mountain in xxxx. I've been booed by a 100,000 screaming fans at xxxx in xxxx, and I've soaked in the country's hottest natural pool in xxxx.......and I've done it all with my own gas, my own money, and paid for it all with my own sweat.
I didn't have three degrees, but I had a 3.6 GPA in my undergraduate and graduate programs, all while putting in 60 hours a week for xxxx program. xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx. I'm not rich, but I don't know many XX year olds that make in the $80,000's that haven't had others to open doors for them to get there. I'm not cleaning the air, but I sit just xxx links of command under the President of the United States and my work is directly needed and affects the men, women, and organizations that protect our country. And as much as I've said about myself above (which is to make a point, not to brag), I guarantee you won't find a more humble, grateful, genuine person in life...
I don't have your exact past or your exact journey, but I have my own and its one I am very proud of. Whatever it is your doing, your attracted to, you have planned, or your going through....I just don't see how you made the decision your life was better off by only having spent 45 minutes with me and never again seeing or talking to me again? And not only that, but the respect wasn't even there enough to say it in person....it was a dear john email through eharmony :)
You're right, I'm a great guy. I hope you know that and meant it when you said it, and I hope you are sure you made the right decisions based on the right reasons derived from the right assessments. I'm not perfect, I'm not amazing, and maybe I don't deserve you.....but maybe I did. I think its sad that neither of us will know. I went into our dinner as 'a' brief meeting, not "the" meeting. Anybody I consider worth meeting once, I would have automatically assumed and thought she would be worth meeting a second or a third too...But that's me. My time is very busy and important and I'm very picky about random girls I meet of the internet. I'm not saying you aren't, but again, I just feel it came so easy that you couldn't help but to take it all for granted. I think I went into it all with a different mind set than you...and looking back maybe that's a good thing.
Again, I'm not mad, I'm not angry...obviously I have no right or reason to be :) I very much appreciate your honesty and the fact that you respected me enough to not waste my time. However, I'm a very honest and curious person, so part of me would love to know what your real reason is and what its based on....no matter how brutal, superficial, or personal it all might be. Or otherwise, understand how you feel you know enough about me in such a short period of time to judge the rest of me, and you simply feel that isn't comparable with what you want/need/are looking for in any capacity in your life. But, I realize that's not my right nor your obligation to me. What's important is you feel at peace with your decision and you have other things you obviously are looking forward to that make you happy.
And on that note... I appreciate your kind words and you taking the time to meet me. It was a lovely dinner talking with you and I enjoyed your company! I do feel you didn't get to know me and you are losing something I think you would have really been glad to be around and know...if only as a friend if anything. We talked only twice and met only once...both were times when I was tired and had been busy. I'm a lot more fun and enjoyable then your impression of me probably reads, and I feel we have a lot more in common than you might realize. And while I want to say I think its your loss, I know the true reason this email is so long is because I know in most ways its my loss. While I wish we had more time to get to know one another...I also know you are a very smart girl and know what is best for you, obviously, better than anybody else. So, I I'll hope this decision is what's better for you and that in itself gives me happiness and peace!! :)
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