Emotional Vomiter - Part 3 of 5

Continued again. I lost track of where the emails cut off. I think we are somewhere around 3

I don't know how, why, when it happened, or what you did to earn it, but I sincerely liked you. Not just as a beautiful mysterious girl I was trying to win, but as a person in general. Your answers, emails, our phone conversation gave me an impression of you that I (obviously) have thought very highly of. There is plenty of things that needed to happen, plenty of conversations that still needed to be had, and plenty of moments that needed to be shared to confirm and verify much of what I think and feel, but I have a great deal of respect for you, an enormous amount of appreciate for what you embody, and an attraction for just about every inch of what I've seen of you. I feel like the fact that I see that and get that about you on week two, versus year two, is a compliment to me not a negative. Would it had made a difference if I didn't say this to you for another two months? Would that have made my word then, or my words now, any more or less true? The answer is no. I'm a smart enough person to know what makes people attracted to people, what games make it interesting and exciting, and how wondering if somebody likes you is more addictive and enticing than knowing they do. What I've said to you hasn't been a game, although I'm sure me throwing smooth lines at you or playing some of those games might have at least gotten me a second meeting. I know you aren't shallow, but none the less, I hope you didn't find the ease and directness of it (me) a turn off! Just because it fell into your lap versus you working to earn it, doesn't mean it isn't as real or valuable as anything else you'll ever seek or desire.

I realize it makes me come off desperate and unreasonable, but that isn't at all who I am. I have plenty of friends, exes, and girls who are in themselves great catches, but just aren't exactly what I'm looking for. I can give you the names numbers of attractive girls who would love to be hearing me say the same things I've say to you but never have and never will. As funny as all that sounds for me to bring up...if you question any of that then I hope you'd take me up on the offer. I told you that I was in a relationship for two years....well, she was one of my closest friends. She was diagnosed with Bone Cancer and undertook Kimo. There were so many things about life and friendship I learned from her and took away from my relationship with her, and that bond as friends is what made me stay in it for as long as I did. But, the whole time there were so many of my friends that was surprised at how long I was with her. Not because she was bad, but because I'm picky. She is 5'7, wears size 1 pants, has a C cup, and has long blonde hair with deep blue eyes. A lot of guys would love to have been in my position. She is a beautiful girl, had a 4.0 from xxxx in finance, wasn't materialistic at all and has a lot to offer. Because there were just a few things missing, I couldn't settle. I'm afraid you don't see that part of me because of where we met and how easily you caught my attention...therefore maybe it all means little or nothing to you.

Also, a lot of guys do and say things to make a first impression...the whole fine wine and dine sort of deal. I've been blessed with the wisdom to read people and definitely know how to schmooze somebody if I wanted to. I could smooth talk a horse into shaving his head.....ok ok, bad analogy :) but point is, because I can doesn't mean I want to. Where a lot of people want to convince a person to like them, and it tends to make people act above their normal state of behavior, "put their best foot forward", I don't do that. If anything, I down play things. I don't want to false advertise, nor do I want my actions to be what sets the tone for the night. I guess its like I said earlier, I am always reading and evaluating people.... I'd rather let my actions be neutral and let her actions be her own...her to be herself. I think that's the best and quickest way to get to know somebody. Of course I'm going to be a gentleman at all times to anybody, and of course I want to enjoy the night, but I wouldn't want to be too formal or too whatever the first time to meet somebody and have her act that way just so she doesn't feel embarrassed about being herself. I'd rather her be herself and set the tone clear of influence from what she sees me doing. I hope that makes sense???

Point being, I didn't go into that night thinking "this is it", "here we go", or "lets get it on".... attitude for the night was to simply "meet" you in person and make sure there was no false image or misrepresentation of the superficial things. Like I said, if you think I was not attractive or whatever, that's fine and understandable. I paid my way through college by playing xxxx for a mean xxxx angry xxxxx coach who I watched film with for an hour a day 6 days a week while he scrutinized every move I made on film. Trust me, there is nothing you can or will say that will be worse than anything I've heard before....I've played in front of 110,000 angry fans in a packed stadium all at once, I was the grandson to a xxxxx in the xxxx, and I, at 18, moved halfway across the country to start a new life for myself....trust me I'm a strong independent person with very thick skin. You don't have to be "polite" :) But, aside from the few simple superficialities people can get caught up on, I don't see what happened to make you feel like your life is better off never seeing me again?