Emotional Vomiter - Part 1 of 5

I went out with a guy on one date. Before the date, we emailed a bit and talked on the phone twice. After our first date, I felt that something was off. He emailed me about 30 minutes after our date to say how fabulous it was. I responded it was nice to meet him but I wasn't feeling it.

The next day he sent me a text asking if he could respond in his own way via email - and if a $100 dinner deserved at least that (as a side note, I did volunteer to pay my half). I said sure, to email me through eharmony even though he wanted my personal email address.

The email came the next day. If you didn't know it, eharmony has a maximum number of characters per message. I received 5 emails totaling over 5000 words. I couldn't even write 1000 for my MBA application. I had to have a glass of wine to get started on the writing.

Here is part one. More to come, but I am editing out parts of it so you never know who he is!

Email 1
Hey there Liz,

I am between positions right now (I got a promotions last week) so I haven't had much to do at work so far this week. I won't start my new position until next week... Anyway, I typed you an email at work today. I didn't realize how long it got, but its what I really wanted to say to you...so, I copied and pasted it into four emails on here so you could read. I know you're busy, but I'd very much like it if you could read all of them...the last isn't as long and it should only take about 10 mins.

Either way, I hope you'll look them over and I hope you find whatever it is you're looking for. Nice meeting you!

Email 2
Haha...wow. That one dinner had a lot more riding on it that I thought! :) I know this email is longer...but I'd appreciate you taking the 15 mins to read it if you don't mind. It would have been much quicker and easier to say over the phone or something, but since you have my number and chose to send your message via eharmony instead, I'm assuming you would rather not. But, I still had a few things to say and I hope you'll give it the time to read since I gave it the time to type and send :)Thanks!

Had I known last Thurs was my one and only shot, I certainly would have done things differently. For starters, I wouldn't have scheduled it after back to back nights of 4 hours of sleep, I wouldn't have done it on a day at work when I had a very stressful disaster happen to one of my clients/accounts in the last hour of my work day - which kept me late and barely left me enough time to rush home and change some of my clothes and head to the restaurant (no shower or anything else), and all that after receiving probably the worst haircut in my life from a friend [ex friend after the work he did] ;) ... And, looking back, I wouldn't have met you in such an empty restaurant where the first face to face conversations of an internet's matched "blind date" could be awkwardly be echoed across to nearby tables...haha.

Considering we never did much more than small talk over a short Thursday dinner and entertain casual innocent questions, I can only think of about 4 situations that could make you feel as though another meeting between us is pointless and unacceptable. One, since most people usually put there best foot forward on the first meeting and try to push their 'A game' to make a good first impression, you feel you've seen my best and don't think its good enough. Two, you found the night awkward and just don't want do endure another awkward night. Three, you have so many guys interested in dating you that you have to make a cut at some point...and I'm a casualty of volume and didn't make it. Or four, you think I have more in common with Shrek than Prince Charming :)

If it is the latter, my appearance, I sincerely apologize for the waste of your night! For such a pretty girl to have to sit with a person they find unacceptably unattractive is both ironic, funny, and sad. I wish you knew me more and you would have known you didn't have to sit through the whole dinner just to be polite. Haha...what a terrible hour it must have been for you... If this is truly your reason I am honestly not offended.... For my friend's, xxxxx (the guy I let cut my hair), sake I hope my newly done, fashionably uneven and cropped cut, didn't factory into that ;) , but if its for the other then I understand and am honestly not offended. Different people see things in different ways. Take you... a guy could see you and see totally opposite things from the next. For example, the mark on your cheek could be looked at as an ugly mole that takes away from an otherwise normal face, while another guy could see it as a beauty mark that compliments and balances the beauty of your gorgeous eye color and your adorable soft cheek. I have had beautiful girls think I'm hot while uglier girls (in my opinion) think I'm not. Life's irony..... I realize its all in the eye of the beholder, and I would never take offense to it if that's how you feel. I can't say that I would even blame you....I haven't had a ray of sunshine in forever, I've haven't worked out in months, and I've been on 3 vacations since October....that with the holidays means I've ate out a ton and I think its been showing in my face a bit. I have an amazing talent to gain and lose weight (comes from me playing xxxxx in college) so I'm not worried about it. I know once I start working out and get back to a routine it'll be ok, but again I wouldn't blame you thinking that on a first impression. I am sorry if this is the reason, and I appreciate the respect and patience it took for you to sit through dinner as politely as you did! I guess I should have ordered your wine by the bottle instead of glass so I started to look better ;) I would have eventually looked better to you had I done that! ..haha. But seriously, if this is the case then I am truly sorry for the disappointment. I tried to put pictures up of me the represented me the most. I even avoided putting ones from summer so that my pictures match my skin tone as you'll see me now. Either way, I apologize for the waste of your night and feel free to stop reading this email past this point if my physical features have anything to do with your decision to not see me again.

However, if this was not your reason....if your decision was due to any of the first scenarios I suggested, then I respectfully ask you to consider the rest of this email in its entirety. Its purpose is not to change your mind, sway your opinion, talk you into or out of anything, or do anything other than to say a final word that I think you should, and deserve to, hear regardless of what may come, or not, between you and I. After all, "There is no greater tragedy in life than that of an unspoken word..." -- William Shakespeare