A Prude, yes. Boring, no.

Long time between posts...

Met this guy online and he wanted to chat. At least we both filtered each other out within 17 minutes. Some would be offended by his last comments - I laughed :)

4:57 PM me: John?

xxxxx: lol yes

me: good - thought so

how's it going

5:00 PM xxxxx: I'm doing well, yourself?

5:02 PM me: great!

5:03 PM xxxxx: I have to say, you are quite cute, and seem like a catch, so I must ask, how is an attractive woman such as yourself somehow single?

xxxxx: thanks ;) i'm really picky

5:04 PM and why are you still single?

xxxxx: Well, I like women who are sweet, smart, honest, fun, cute, but also really wild. American women are never really wild, so I stay single as well.

5:05 PM xxxxx: true - most american women (and men) can be boring

e tu - sei italiano non?

5:06 PM xxxxx: Well I guess I mean wild in bed more than anything, I'm a full time med student and stay busy so not much time to go out drinking all the time and such. American women definitely drink, often entirely too much, just are never really wild. I would love a relationship with one who was wild.

5:09 PM me: well then - we r probably on different pages.

xxxxx: how so?

5:11 PM me: i'm not going to show that side for a long time - want to get to know a guy first

my suggestion to you is to look for girls who are part foreign tho

5:13 PM xxxxx: lol

at least you admit you are a boring prude

with a face like that, I couldn't deal with that

5:14 PM and with a body like that

hahaha, it's just amusing

My Worst Yoga Class

I decided to try taking a yoga class a little while after I had started to recover from my second ACL reconstruction (tore my first one 7 years prior to the second). Needless to say, my knees are not that flexible.

I went to a class at an LA Fitness and sat down towards the back of the room since I knew I was not "experienced". We started the class sitting Indian-style - and I maneuvered as best as I could. Apparently it wasn't good enough. The male instructor noticed my lack of flexibility right away, and across the room of 20 people shouted right away and asked if I could bend any further. I sheepishly said no.

That felt like one of the longest hours of my life with this instructor with him constantly calling me out. At the end of the class, we all relaxed in shavasana - or corpse pose. You basically lie on the floor with palms up and completely relax. I though I was doing well on this one, until I heard a voice say, "Do what I tell you to." I opened my eyes to light gray spandex and his junk about 9 inches from my face. I still have no idea what he did to "readjust" my body and make me relax more, but he seemed content with the outcome of the readjustment. I think I was more relaxed before he came over.

The Playboy's Grandson

I think I met the playboy's (or Uncle Pepe's) grandson recently. If you haven't read about Uncle Pepe, please read that post first.

I was talking with a guy recently about business. I'm not sure of what exactly lead to the following conversation, but most likely it had to do with men's jeans and startups (my new venture). In the midst of conversation, this guy tells me a quote from his grandfather (imagine Uncle Pepe right here).

My grandfather gave me advice when I was five years old that I will never forget. 1) Always work hard, 2) Always play hard, and 3) Always be hard

I had the exact same reaction as I did when I spoke with Uncle Pepe - I just laughed for a long time. Except this guy was a little sharper than Pepe and called me out on it!

How old are you?

Generally speaking, you can guess someone's approximate age within a few years. My rule of thumb is +10 years and -1 year. If someone is border line 36 years, I'll let it slide (I'm 26). Younger is really hard for me to handle. Maybe because I act like I'm 35 some days?

There is something about a guy who can salsa dance. And he gets even more credit if he asks you to dance versus having to ask him to dance.

I met one of these gentlemen. He was a very good dancer and was a prof at a reputable local university in the sciences (triple bonus). We danced a few times. When I left at the end of the night, he got my number. He seemed a little older, so I asked him how old he was. 32 he said.

Being the stalker that I am, I googled him later on to see if he was a prof and how old he was. Using my advanced math skills, I calculated his age based on a few dates. Either he got his Ph.D. at age 18 or he was 39. Both were equally feasible in my mind. So I did more research. Sadly, the bar was leaning towards a lying 39. The next time I met him out I asked him again how old he was. He stumbled and said 32ish. I told him I thought he was older, and he denied it again. I just let it slide.

The next day, I pulled up the article that showed his real age and sent it to him. Guilty as charged.

Moral of this story: I would actually go out with someone who is 39 and admits his age versus someone who tells me he is 32.

I've already divorced you

Sorry it's been a while. My sister is getting married in 5 weeks! My cousin and brother have found their new entertainment. They put their hands next to their eyes like blinders, slowly turn towards me, and explain that they Eye of Sauron is turning it's gaze to me. Yes, I am the next single one in line.

I received this email recently from a guy on eharmony. Thought it was quite entertaining. Kudos to him for creativity - but it was a little weird I have to admit.

Subject: I want my sweater back too

Liz,

After a thoroughly brief overview of your profile, I wanted to let you know I have already married and divorced you in my mind. :)

Thank You for all the wonderful imaginary memories... you'll always have a special place in my heart.

Your Ex-Hubby,

xxxx

P.S. You can keep the house in Barbados but, I'm afraid I'm going to have to need half of our money according to the prenup.

Emotional Vomiter - Part 5 of 5

You are a great girl with so many amazing qualities. In a lot of ways I feel a lot of guys search the world to never find what I found in just a few emails, a phone call, and a couple of glasses of wine....and for that I consider myself a lucky and thankful man for having met you. I consider our time, although extremely brief, a time worth having. I've never faced a situation in my life that I didn't quite understand but yet I knew I was completely ready to jump....and jump for you I would have.

I'm not trying to say I wanted your hand in marriage, to be exclusive, or even serious, but even just as friends getting a drink once a month or something, I would have enjoyed that as much with time as all the girls I seem to be finding meeting. I don't know...I guess for me dating is an expensive habit. If you're not a guy trying to score with girls, which I'm not, then it just seems like a waste unless its with people you really enjoy and like. I've dated smart girls who weren't goofy enough to have fun, I've dated successful girls that were too rigid to be spontaneous, and I've dated gorgeous girls that end up being superficial sorority types that rely on the outter things to make up for the void of the inner. I've dated christian girls who had a lot to offer, but weren't balanced enough to share much of the other things in life that I have fun with and enjoy. Point is, I've dated all types....and then I've talked to you. You had so much of what I'm looking for, and I've had enough opportunities in life to be with and around girls enough to know it's a rare package to find. I couldn't/can't help being excited for that, for you, and I am sorry if that excitement turned you off. I guess in a perfect world that would be a positive thing and not a negative thing...and you would see it as a compliment worth receiving as appose to an obstacle worth dodging.

I think on paper we really match. I would love for you to read over my profile one more time, answers, your answers, mymy emails, and anything else and tell me what there is that you don't truly agree with. Its all real, all me, and all genuine. I assume yours was too.... I just think on paper its perfect. Beyond that, well....we didn't have much of a chance. Like I said, you were getting me with no strings attached. We could've talked once a week, once a month, you could have continued to date....all of it. I had no expectations and thus don't see what you had to end it so matter of fact so quickly. There were other options you know :)

All that said, assuming I won't hear back from you after this....I'd like to end by saying this. Thanks for taking the time to read this. You didn't have to and it means a lot that you did! I appreciate it! :) Along with all the other qualities I know you deserve, I hope the guy you meet, eventually, is as open, willing, and able to pamper and spoil for every completely unselfish reason that can be thought of or created. Life is a long thing the only saying that is worth remembering is simply, "this too shall pass". No matter what it is, I promise it will go. Your beauty, his looks, money, health, your dads company, all of it will some day be gone. I hope your guy treats you as a priceless treasure to be enjoyed and cherished every day. I hope he makes you feel loved and adored everyday without making you feel smothered or brown nosed. There is a quote by Martin Luther Kind Jr. that I think is compelling and true...it goes:

"All men are caught in an inescapable network of mutuality, tied in a single garment of destiny. Whatever affect one directly affects all indirectly. I can never be what I ought to be until you are what you ought to be, and you can never be what you ought to be until I become what I ought to be."

I hope your guy challenges you while embracing you, respects you while questioning you. I hope he pushes you and pulls you through life and all its many experiences. All this makes me seem so serious, methodical, rigid, and structured....but I'm not. I'm very laid back and easy going....apparently I just love sending you long emails making myself look a fool! :) haha...but, how often do I get to meet a girl that makes me feel like I am a fool? So, forgive me while I bask in a moment's feeling that is briefly passing :)

Again, I appreciate your honesty and respect you for saying how you feel as soon as you feel it. As you well know by now, I think the world of you and have a ton of respect for you. I think you're the most beautiful girl I've seen in a very long time, and that's the last reason I even like you. I hope you'll take all this as nothing more than a pure compliment. If you ever wonder about me, question this, or change your mind I hope you'll call me and say hi. I'd love to meet you for dinner or something sometime if you ever have a night free. And, for what its worth....about 10 of my friends are all going skiing at xxxx (an hour away from here) one of the next few weekends. Its kind of an annual couples thing we do. Some are married, one is engaged, and the other has a guy she is dating....I was going to see if you wanted to come. I know its kind of weird since we hardly know each other, and I have other people I'm talking to that I've known for longer that I know would love to go with me, but I really thought it would be a good way for us to get to know each other a bit more. Since I have the answer before I even got a chance to invite you, I won't do the dumb thing now and tell you about how much fun it will be... :) BUT, if you change your mind....again, I hope you'll feel ok enough to call me in spite of breaking it off with me now. Good luck and take care!


He signed with all of his contact information.

I did ignore this email. He sent a few text messages throughout the year. I responded one time when he asked why again. I said he was too intense and it was too much for me. I honestly hope he finds someone who is perfect for him.

Emotional Vomiter - Part 4 of 5

There is no way you got to know me, the real me, in such a way that you could make that decision, unless it was for superficial reasons, over such a casual, short, and superficial dinner. If it wasn't my looks, or something superficial like that, then what was it? Was it because I don't salsa dance? :) I'm a good dancer and would love to learn.... Because I don't speak Italian? I had four years of xxxx (equally as romantic) and I'll learn Italian by the end of the year if it meant a date 2 :)... Because I don't work for my parents and haven't traveled the world like you? Well, I grew up poor. Both my parents were going back to school while raising 5 kids. I literally was poor growing up. We never traveled and we never went on vacations. However, my parents did make it through school and now have great jobs. My dad is in the xxx industry and my mother is a xxx that makes $48 an hour. They make well into 6 figures and have absolutely no debt...not even a mortgage. I could ask for them to give me $5k just cause and they would put it in my bank account by the end of the day. However, I respect their journey and I appreciate life's struggles. I think God wants us to live life content with what he has given us...and I live my life exactly that way. I think a men can learn more about himself in the shadow of the valley than the crest of the wave that rises above the undisturbed part of the water...I think it is the struggle that pushes men to be men. I wanted my own journey...therefore I moved out and have done everything on my own. I have not taken one penny from my parents since I was 18. Not for cars, not for school, and not for vacations. Every thing I've done I've done by my own will, my own drive, and my own ambition. I haven't been to Italy, Spain, China, or the moon.....but I've seen the sun rise off of Navy Pier, see the sun set on the Rio Grande, I've see the ball drop on New Years from the very center of the heart of Time Square and danced in the streets to confetti falling from the night sky with the taste of champing still on my lips as a million people sang Frank Sinatra's "New York New York". I've seen the lights of Vegas, I've slept under the stars of Texas, I've had breakfast in xxxx, sat in a hot tub over looking the xxxx, seen the lakes freeze from the shore of xxxx, and taken in the view from the highest mountain in xxxx. I've been booed by a 100,000 screaming fans at xxxx in xxxx, and I've soaked in the country's hottest natural pool in xxxx.......and I've done it all with my own gas, my own money, and paid for it all with my own sweat.

I didn't have three degrees, but I had a 3.6 GPA in my undergraduate and graduate programs, all while putting in 60 hours a week for xxxx program. xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx. I'm not rich, but I don't know many XX year olds that make in the $80,000's that haven't had others to open doors for them to get there. I'm not cleaning the air, but I sit just xxx links of command under the President of the United States and my work is directly needed and affects the men, women, and organizations that protect our country. And as much as I've said about myself above (which is to make a point, not to brag), I guarantee you won't find a more humble, grateful, genuine person in life...

I don't have your exact past or your exact journey, but I have my own and its one I am very proud of. Whatever it is your doing, your attracted to, you have planned, or your going through....I just don't see how you made the decision your life was better off by only having spent 45 minutes with me and never again seeing or talking to me again? And not only that, but the respect wasn't even there enough to say it in person....it was a dear john email through eharmony :)

You're right, I'm a great guy. I hope you know that and meant it when you said it, and I hope you are sure you made the right decisions based on the right reasons derived from the right assessments. I'm not perfect, I'm not amazing, and maybe I don't deserve you.....but maybe I did. I think its sad that neither of us will know. I went into our dinner as 'a' brief meeting, not "the" meeting. Anybody I consider worth meeting once, I would have automatically assumed and thought she would be worth meeting a second or a third too...But that's me. My time is very busy and important and I'm very picky about random girls I meet of the internet. I'm not saying you aren't, but again, I just feel it came so easy that you couldn't help but to take it all for granted. I think I went into it all with a different mind set than you...and looking back maybe that's a good thing.

Again, I'm not mad, I'm not angry...obviously I have no right or reason to be :) I very much appreciate your honesty and the fact that you respected me enough to not waste my time. However, I'm a very honest and curious person, so part of me would love to know what your real reason is and what its based on....no matter how brutal, superficial, or personal it all might be. Or otherwise, understand how you feel you know enough about me in such a short period of time to judge the rest of me, and you simply feel that isn't comparable with what you want/need/are looking for in any capacity in your life. But, I realize that's not my right nor your obligation to me. What's important is you feel at peace with your decision and you have other things you obviously are looking forward to that make you happy.

And on that note... I appreciate your kind words and you taking the time to meet me. It was a lovely dinner talking with you and I enjoyed your company! I do feel you didn't get to know me and you are losing something I think you would have really been glad to be around and know...if only as a friend if anything. We talked only twice and met only once...both were times when I was tired and had been busy. I'm a lot more fun and enjoyable then your impression of me probably reads, and I feel we have a lot more in common than you might realize. And while I want to say I think its your loss, I know the true reason this email is so long is because I know in most ways its my loss. While I wish we had more time to get to know one another...I also know you are a very smart girl and know what is best for you, obviously, better than anybody else. So, I I'll hope this decision is what's better for you and that in itself gives me happiness and peace!! :)