Emotional Vomiter - Part 2 of 5

Continued from Part 1

There is a verse in the bible that I find one of the most important, yet people fail to fully understand its meaning since the verse itself is so simple. It encompasses both logic and compassion, discipline and openness. It is what makes people both purposed and humane, stern yet gentle, free yet directed. It is the simple verse of Mathew 10:16...."Be ye as wise as serpents, and harmless as doves." For it is the balance of both of these that lets people live and feel life as God truly intends.

You see, what I think you might be taking as shyness or me being insecurely reserved, desperate or romantically restless really comes from a different place and therefore might be a misrepresentation of who I am. First off, I have never met anybody off the internet. The whole thing made me skeptical and nervous. Also, the way we got to introduce ourselves the other night was weird ... I waited in my car for you to arrive out of courtesy to you. I didn't want you to have to search for my table, nor did I want you to have to find me sitting at the table all warm and dry with you just showing up soaked and cold. My intention was to see you pull up and get out and walk in with you at the same time. It made it awkward how you ran into the restaurant before I could get there, which meant by the time I got in we had to meet for the first time ever with the hostess watching, ready to seat us. Along with that, I found you to be quite a surprise. Being that we met online, and you were my first date of somebody in that way, I was really surprised. Your look, demeanor, manners, smile, and laugh....all of it was very much what I look for and am used to getting, but I just wasn't expecting it from an online match that came so easily and quickly after joining something I had rolled my eyes at for so long. It all caught me off guard and made me feel unusually not myself, especially coming from the day I had at work.

That said, I really like to get to know somebody from the ground up, inside out. I usually listen before I speak. Most girls I've been with, most girls I date and talk to, are successful, very outgoing, talk a lot, and typically knew something about me going into it... And because I've always felt confident in what I have to offer and can be very picky about what I am looking for, I usually spend the first meeting leading the conversations as far as asking questions and getting to know the other person. When I think about it, I guess you could almost say I size them up to see if I want more to do with them. With you it was different. I felt like I already knew you and liked you, which is odd considering how hard I usually am to get and the way we met. You weren't nearly as talkative as what I'm use to, for which the reason is obvious now...

I wouldn't be talkative if I was sitting across from a guy I thought looked like Shrek either ;) . No, but seriously....it was different than I'm use to. I've never in my life been dumped, and I've never once been the chaser or the person who was turned down. I know that is coming off cocky, but I don't mean it like that.. It is just true. I've always felt like the smarter one, the less interested one...Like the person who had the choice and the one with less to lose. Never have I ever been anything but.... yet it has been the opposite with you. I felt that at the restaurant and your email last night confirmed it. It all put me out of my comfort zone and I'm not sure why.

All that said, I wanted to say this to you before you become a person I talked to for a few weeks and never heard from again...

I know you are a driven successful person. You attended a top 30 school in the country (I know because I looked into it when I was considering where to apply for my doctorate degree/PHD), all of your friends and family are equally driven and have obviously worked hard to get to where they are. You have a great work ethic and your whole life will be defined by the cause and effect relationship behind effort and outcome, reap and reward, do then see. But, I dare you to be bold enough to equally enjoy the smaller, easier, things that come along in life. Just because something comes easy, or free, doesn't mean its not worth having or keeping. A rundown shack on the beach can be equally as beautiful as the mansion on the hill. And considering a week's salary would pay the title for the shack by the sea, versus the mansion, it might even be more enjoyable since there isn't a mortgage, debt, or stress attached.

I'm not sure what you think I'm seeking, what you feel I have to offer, or what you think I was expecting in return, but I assure you it was all free with not a single string attached. I wasn't trying to marry you, I wasn't trying to wow you, I wasn't trying to replace your best friend, get you to give me your kidney, nor was I trying to fill your weekend/date schedule. I merely wanted to get to know you more and have enough fun with you smile and laugh your adorable subtle chuckle a few more times while I did it....that's it :)

Emotional Vomiter - Part 1 of 5

I went out with a guy on one date. Before the date, we emailed a bit and talked on the phone twice. After our first date, I felt that something was off. He emailed me about 30 minutes after our date to say how fabulous it was. I responded it was nice to meet him but I wasn't feeling it.

The next day he sent me a text asking if he could respond in his own way via email - and if a $100 dinner deserved at least that (as a side note, I did volunteer to pay my half). I said sure, to email me through eharmony even though he wanted my personal email address.

The email came the next day. If you didn't know it, eharmony has a maximum number of characters per message. I received 5 emails totaling over 5000 words. I couldn't even write 1000 for my MBA application. I had to have a glass of wine to get started on the writing.

Here is part one. More to come, but I am editing out parts of it so you never know who he is!

Email 1
Hey there Liz,

I am between positions right now (I got a promotions last week) so I haven't had much to do at work so far this week. I won't start my new position until next week... Anyway, I typed you an email at work today. I didn't realize how long it got, but its what I really wanted to say to you...so, I copied and pasted it into four emails on here so you could read. I know you're busy, but I'd very much like it if you could read all of them...the last isn't as long and it should only take about 10 mins.

Either way, I hope you'll look them over and I hope you find whatever it is you're looking for. Nice meeting you!

Email 2
Haha...wow. That one dinner had a lot more riding on it that I thought! :) I know this email is longer...but I'd appreciate you taking the 15 mins to read it if you don't mind. It would have been much quicker and easier to say over the phone or something, but since you have my number and chose to send your message via eharmony instead, I'm assuming you would rather not. But, I still had a few things to say and I hope you'll give it the time to read since I gave it the time to type and send :)Thanks!

Had I known last Thurs was my one and only shot, I certainly would have done things differently. For starters, I wouldn't have scheduled it after back to back nights of 4 hours of sleep, I wouldn't have done it on a day at work when I had a very stressful disaster happen to one of my clients/accounts in the last hour of my work day - which kept me late and barely left me enough time to rush home and change some of my clothes and head to the restaurant (no shower or anything else), and all that after receiving probably the worst haircut in my life from a friend [ex friend after the work he did] ;) ... And, looking back, I wouldn't have met you in such an empty restaurant where the first face to face conversations of an internet's matched "blind date" could be awkwardly be echoed across to nearby tables...haha.

Considering we never did much more than small talk over a short Thursday dinner and entertain casual innocent questions, I can only think of about 4 situations that could make you feel as though another meeting between us is pointless and unacceptable. One, since most people usually put there best foot forward on the first meeting and try to push their 'A game' to make a good first impression, you feel you've seen my best and don't think its good enough. Two, you found the night awkward and just don't want do endure another awkward night. Three, you have so many guys interested in dating you that you have to make a cut at some point...and I'm a casualty of volume and didn't make it. Or four, you think I have more in common with Shrek than Prince Charming :)

If it is the latter, my appearance, I sincerely apologize for the waste of your night! For such a pretty girl to have to sit with a person they find unacceptably unattractive is both ironic, funny, and sad. I wish you knew me more and you would have known you didn't have to sit through the whole dinner just to be polite. Haha...what a terrible hour it must have been for you... If this is truly your reason I am honestly not offended.... For my friend's, xxxxx (the guy I let cut my hair), sake I hope my newly done, fashionably uneven and cropped cut, didn't factory into that ;) , but if its for the other then I understand and am honestly not offended. Different people see things in different ways. Take you... a guy could see you and see totally opposite things from the next. For example, the mark on your cheek could be looked at as an ugly mole that takes away from an otherwise normal face, while another guy could see it as a beauty mark that compliments and balances the beauty of your gorgeous eye color and your adorable soft cheek. I have had beautiful girls think I'm hot while uglier girls (in my opinion) think I'm not. Life's irony..... I realize its all in the eye of the beholder, and I would never take offense to it if that's how you feel. I can't say that I would even blame you....I haven't had a ray of sunshine in forever, I've haven't worked out in months, and I've been on 3 vacations since October....that with the holidays means I've ate out a ton and I think its been showing in my face a bit. I have an amazing talent to gain and lose weight (comes from me playing xxxxx in college) so I'm not worried about it. I know once I start working out and get back to a routine it'll be ok, but again I wouldn't blame you thinking that on a first impression. I am sorry if this is the reason, and I appreciate the respect and patience it took for you to sit through dinner as politely as you did! I guess I should have ordered your wine by the bottle instead of glass so I started to look better ;) I would have eventually looked better to you had I done that! ..haha. But seriously, if this is the case then I am truly sorry for the disappointment. I tried to put pictures up of me the represented me the most. I even avoided putting ones from summer so that my pictures match my skin tone as you'll see me now. Either way, I apologize for the waste of your night and feel free to stop reading this email past this point if my physical features have anything to do with your decision to not see me again.

However, if this was not your reason....if your decision was due to any of the first scenarios I suggested, then I respectfully ask you to consider the rest of this email in its entirety. Its purpose is not to change your mind, sway your opinion, talk you into or out of anything, or do anything other than to say a final word that I think you should, and deserve to, hear regardless of what may come, or not, between you and I. After all, "There is no greater tragedy in life than that of an unspoken word..." -- William Shakespeare

Cucumbers for Breakfast

Whenever my Egyptian family is in town, there is a constant aroma of garlic and spices. Every 3 hours a new meal is cooked, and you must eat because that is tradition.

My least favorite meal of the day is Egyptian breakfast. One common item to serve is foul medames. Imagine refried beans in a pita and 800 spices mixed in with it. Now imagine those beans and spices burning (yes, burning whenever you mess it up) in a crock pot all night. That is the smell you awake to in the morning and one that takes 5+ days to clear out.

One poor guy I went out with told me of his trip to Europe. He was a nice guy. As he told me about his trip to Germany, he told me about their breakfast which included cucumbers and tomatoes. He was absolutely appalled by their eating styles and said he could not wait to get back to the states and have his bacon and eggs every morning. All I could do was smile and imagine him waking up to the smell of burnt foul medamas. I don't think he would last 5 minutes.

The other side's POV

Thank you, Yih!

All - please make sure to take a look at MyDatingRepellent. It is the ying of this yang website - stories from a guy's prospective. Can't have one without the other!

Poker Face

I'm starting off this one by saying that men say and do some extremely inappropriate things (well, so do women). This one still makes me a little uncomfortable, but we've got to laugh at life!

I was out in Indy with my brother at Brothers bar in Broad Ripple. We were playing pool and talking with some of the guys there. My brother went to the rest room and left me there - no big deal right?

The guy who was chatting with us carried on a little normal conversation until Lady Gaga's Poker Face song came on. He look at me and asked me if I thought it meant "poker face" and gestured to his face, or "poke her face" and make a circle with one had as he stuck his other finger through it.

My Name is Nikki

One evening in Atlanta I stopped by Caribou coffee late in the evening with my friend. As we were grabbing a coffee, I noticed a table of Middle Easterners who were talking about us in Arabic. I told my friend she could tell him "ma'a as-salaama" which means goodbye on our way out. Instead, she decided to spark conversation with them.

As I turned around, she was already sitting at their table and chatting away. Of course, they were shocked to find out I was Egyptian. Then, my dear friend told them that her name is Nikki. In any other language that would not be a problem. But in Arabic, Nikki is something you should never say. In fact, it means "f-me". Of course they broke into laughter.

To top it all off, as she is telling them her name, in walks the ONE Egyptian whom I had been out on a date with in Atlanta. He was friends with the group. As we both awkwardly look at each other, all friends ask where we had met. Where else would two Egyptians mean but arablounge?

Wine & Handcuffs

I love to salsa dance. I learned how to salsa in Cairo, Egypt of all places. My sister was living there and I spent one summer with her. She left me alone for two weeks, so during my explorations I found salsa lessons at the Nile Hilton.

Years later I found myself salsa dancing at a restaurant/jazz club in Indy. I met an interesting gentleman from Nicaragua. He was a good dancer, and we had pretty good conversation, so I gave him my phone number.

The next day I received a text message from him:
"Salutations, my Queen of the Nile. Signed, your knight errant - xxxx."

I wrote back that it was nice to meet him last night. He responded:

"I would like to have a cultural exchange with you. Preferably, over wine and handcuffs. Wait, that is sub-culture. I get mixed up with genres. Like to see U soon."

My response - no response.