George Frank!!!

One of my friends chose to celebrate her birthday with a tea party at a small house in rural Georgia. It took over an hour of driving on country roads to finally make it to the party. I knew about half the women there, and sat next to a woman that I had never met before.

A little into the tea party, one of my best friends stood up to use the restroom. The girl next to me then began to tell us about her soon to be fiance'. She told us all about how wonderful he was, and how they were going to be engaged in the next week or so. Naturally, someone asked his name. Luckily at this point my head was turned in the opposite direction because the name that came out was "George Frank". I had met George Frank on match.com when I was in college, and we had unsuccessfully tried to date about 5 times.

Gaining my composure, I slowly turned back around towards the woman and pretended like I did not know him. However, my animated friend returned from the restroom. She quickly joined the conversation and, of course, asked what his name was. As soon as the name came out of the woman's mouth, my friend shouted his name, "George Frank!!!", dropped her jaw, and looked at me with shock. Of course everyone turned towards me as I wanted to crawl in a hole and pretend like it had never happened. Awkwardly and forced, I quickly explained the history and wished them the best in their marriage.

Ass Grabbing Gym Guy

As you know, I am half-Egyptian. This also means that I am half-African and well endowed on the lower half of my body. I recall looking at pictures of myself when I was 2 years old, and I still had a butt even then!

One night in Indy, I was out with some girlfriends dancing and having a good time. I saw a guy that goes to my gym whom I see almost every day. He stopped me and grabbed a hold of me so that I couldn't escape. He quickly changed the topic of our conversation to my ass as he proceeded to put his hand on the back of my thigh and raise his hand to grab my ass. I was a little speechless because I didn't know how to react. He continued to do it again and told me that I was not nice enough to him at the gym because I didn't stop to have a long conversation with him. Next thing I knew, a random girl joined the conversation about my ass and reached out and grabbed it. I thought it was awkward enough that a girl friend of this guy would grab my ass, but then I found out that he didn't even know her. Once I had gotten over the shock, I quickly found my girlfriends for their protection.

The next day at the gym, I went to one of the ab machines. My dear ass-grabbing friend ended up on the machine next to me. We never made eye contact and pretended like the incident(s) never had occurred.

80-year old Playboy

While in consulting, I was on a conference call one morning with my boss. Our dear client was this 85 year old man in Brazil who has been involved and/or run the family business for ages. We were asking him a series of compensation policy/practices questions. At the end of the call he makes a big announcement that he has a question for me. Dialogue follows:

Uncle Pepe (yes, that is his name): "Liz, do you know what my current job is?"
Liz: "No, what is it?". I think he is a board member for the company or something similar.
Uncle Pepe: "I'm a playboy"
Liz: .... no comment can only laugh and pretend like it is not awkward as he says this in front of my straight-laced boss....
Uncle Pepe: "You should come play with me sometime"

Lost in Translation

For entertainment purposes, I signed up for arablounge.com in college. One fine gentleman who saw my profile sent me the email below. While I greatly respect anyone who is trying to learn a foreign language (as I have myself), there are certain phrases in Arabic that when directly translated into English sound hilarious. So, when you read this email, please read it imagining a heavy middle eastern accent. It makes it so much better!

"Hi, how are u??? I saw your profile, i am interested to know you more, if you will not mind, you are very pretty girl.I am egyptian raised in egypt, i came here from 6 years, I am accountant, i have the CPA.I am 29 years old, very samart, handsome and know how to treat my the girls or ladies with respect, the rest you will know it by yourself. May be we have the same common things and I hope my thinking is right (I wish that ) This is my email address _____@yahoo.com I hope to talk to you soon, i will wait for you. Do not let me waiting so long. Bye sugar and god saves you."

What is My Dating Magnet?

Over the past few years, I have attempted to date - quite unsuccessfully might I add. Like many other single ladies, I believe I have a magnet for strange and unusual men. So, instead of being frustrated, I think it is better to just share a few of the stories and laugh at them together.

This blog is an accumulation of past and present dating or just unusual encounters. I hope that in reading the stories, you laugh and remember that being single can be very entertaining!